Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
did you just send me my own nude
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
