eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
