I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
