how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
