If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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