I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
