but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
