This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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