He is an equal opportunity slut.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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