I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
