There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im holly from the hills drunk
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
the raccoons are back...
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