You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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