Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I have feelings that need drinking.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
