Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
