How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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