I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
