Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
