Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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