i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
