i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
