They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
