its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She needs sedatives and a leash
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
