Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
