My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
