I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize