Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
