i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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