did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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