ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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