god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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