He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
