Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
