We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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