i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize
