I am puke
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My balls are so social today.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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