If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
