I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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