so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He felt like a one man threesome
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
