and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
