This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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