billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
