I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
