so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize