I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
