Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
