just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
