i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
