I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
