Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
MIDGETS
????
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
