Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
