he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I need a beard to bite.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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