: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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