I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
