I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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