Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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