Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
