I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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