Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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