i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
