i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
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