shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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