ADVERTISEMENT

• (313): View more from Michigan

  Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  None he's f-d

  Fav 15 1168 2270

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

  Fav 28 890 3339

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.

  Fav 10 3267 1258

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.

  Fav 6 1560 1229

  share tweet
  

• (254): View more from Texas

  Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.

  Fav 8 1977 771

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...

  Fav 4 2754 853

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.

  Fav 1 676 369

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.

  Fav 1 700 433

  share tweet
  

• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.

  Fav 0 611 282

  share tweet
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.

  Fav 0 84 26

  share tweet
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice

  Fav 0 37 37

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.

  Fav 0 14 37

  share tweet
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.

  Fav 0 19 47

  share tweet
  

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.

  Fav 1 79 14

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix

  Fav 0 52 16

  share tweet
  

Randomize