I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
