god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You were trust falling into bushes
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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