the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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